Barren and Empty; Lush and Complete

Quiet weird isn't it? Sometimes when you struggle hard to set things straight, look for monotony in the randomness, the calm in all the noise, There! You found it! God Bless! You're calm, you're steady, you're satisfied, but not happy. You walk through a crowd like a ghost, trying so hard to go unnoticed, wishing with all your might to keep things lasting that way. You're up, you're ready, you walk, you pray, you're steady. You fake a smile, shed a tear, and act like you're not that stone cold, not just yet...you listen, you keep quiet, and you wish just to be left alone. You get it, you have it, and it’s yours. You like it, you hold on to it strong. Swish! The flick of a wand? The chill of the breeze? The sound of silence? You feel the cold, you feel the void, the emptiness inside. You’re scared? But how can you? You were the same person who wanted all that, and now you feel fear? Ludicrous! What’s wrong with you? Are you fine? You need to see a shrink, you need to talk, you need help. But then...no one listens, no one's bothered, when you were that ghost of a man, when you were that face in a crowd, they didn’t look, they didn’t ask, they didn’t care. Why? Because you were constant, you didn’t change you didn’t have a life that you lived, that they were interested in, suddenly you’re a someone with issues?? Didn’t they think for once that you probably needed help when you were shadow? Only you know, only you will always know.. Maybe along, it’s not cold anymore, it’s not scary, it’s not uncertain, it’s not dark. Suddenly, you feel the warmth, you want to smile, you want to cry. You did it. You love it. You feel alive, you feel living. You see the faces haunting you every time you look in that mirror, fade away, they recede, not into darkness, but light, they go, not in vain, but in peace. You let go, you feel free. You feel light, you can breathe. But why? Why you ask my love it all plays that way? I don’t know, I don’t have an answer, but maybe so you know what it feels like to be alive and living, to feel warmth and light, to feel joy and sadness. Maybe, just so you start living and then that’s what you hold on to strong instead, the light, the fun, the colour, the life. Don't let it go when you've found it, don't let it go...